For Those Who Wait

I heard a song recently that really spoke to where I am in my life right now. I have since learned that it is from the soundtrack of a movie I've heard of but haven't seen. I want to share the lyrics here for those of you who are still waiting.

But first you should know that I know what it's like to wait. Every new year is a reminder for me of just how long this wait has been. Maybe 2008 wasn't a great year for you. Maybe you had a lot of hopes and expectations for the year that just didn't pan out. I hope that if you had disappointments last year, you also had good times and made some great memories with people you love. I hope you've been able to find joy in your life even while you wait.

My sixth miscarriage happened in January of 2007. By January of 2008 we'd sought out a new doctor and had plenty of new tests run. I had just had surgery to take care of some scar tissue and mild endometriosis. We were given the all-clear to try again for another pregnancy a few months later. To make a long story short, the good news is that we did not add another loss in 2008. The bad news is that we did not have a pregnancy. For the first time since our first pregnancy in 2002, this year we were not able to get pregnant on our own. In all of the eight years that we've been trying to become parents, this is the longest time we've had to wait. Now it's January 2009 - two years since our last pregnancy.

Really though, it is eight years of waiting. Yes, there have been pregnancies, and they were all lives that we loved and cherished. But we still wait. We still don't get to be with our babies in the here and now. I want to tell you today that I know how hard it is to wait. I know that many of us wait for different things in our lives, so I feel certain that even those of you not living with infertility can relate to this song called While I'm Waiting by John Waller. I've copied these lyrics from this website http://www.christianmusicreview.org/johnwaller_lyrics.html along with the artist's explanation for writing the song. (Also, you can purchase the song on iTunes, or check it out on John Waller's CD The Blessing.) I want this to be my anthem for the new year.

While I’m Waiting
Psalm 5:3, 27:14, 33:20, 37:7, 38:15, 40:1, Isaiah 30:18, Lamentations 3:24
John Waller

"The explanation for this song is simple, I was waiting on God and I was hurting when I wrote the lyrics. I probably wouldn’t have written a song if my friend, Mike, hadn’t encouraged me to document what I was going through during that time. I’m sure there are few people who can’t relate to this song, but the important thing to remember while we’re waiting on God is to not just wait but to actively wait. Serve, worship and be faithful with what you have, where you are… even while (you) wait.”

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

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