Doing The Hard Things

The first month of the new year is winding down, friends. It was my birthday month as well. Last Saturday I turned 37 and it has me reflecting on some things, as my birthday usually does these days.

There are a few characteristics that I've never felt like I've really been able to claim. Can you relate? For example, I've never felt super independent. I'm a younger sister who was always very close to her older sister. We shared most things, including a bedroom (and a bed!), until she left for college. Two years later, I followed her to the same university where we were roommates for a year before she got married. The next year, my Sophomore year of college, is the only year of my entire life that I've ever lived alone. During that year I had a private dorm room on campus (which was like being alone, yet not). The year after that, I lived in the home of a dear family who treated me like one of their own. And by the time my senior year arrived, I was married to my husband. We've now been married for 15 years.

I know that being independent doesn't entirely mean living alone, but it's just not a way I would describe myself. I'm most comfortable with someone close to me, looking out for me in a way. I admire those who can get out there and make a new path all on their own. But I feel much safer and happier walking a well-trodden one with someone I love and trust walking with me. Okay, in front of me... so I'll know where to go.

And I guess that's part of the reason that I have, at times, felt weak. Certain events in my life, though, have served to toughen me up and ultimately made me realize that I was stronger than I thought. Coming from a broken home where we didn't have a whole lot of money, and the kinds of issues my sister and I had to face from a very young age is one of those events.

The other big one that stands out in my mind is infertility.

It feels like I've had to fight hard for the life that I have today. I know, nobody ever promised it would be easy. I realize that, and it's okay. I'm not bitter about it. But I'm not ashamed to say this:
I'm proud of the fact that I've learned how to do some hard things.

You should know that I have a hard time complimenting myself. I don't mean that I normally have a lot of self-pity or low self-esteem, but that I am my own harshest critic. I have difficulty acknowledging when I've done well, as well as forgiving myself when I make stupid mistakes, and I replay the dumb things I say and do every night in my mind before I go to sleep. Let's just say, sometimes it takes me a really long time to go to sleep! I realize this about myself -- I worry and I regret much more than I should.

My point is, I've learned that I CAN do the hard things. There's something about that statement that I find empowering. This baby sister, follower, scrawny little child from a tiny town in southern Louisiana, whose childhood was tough and who learned how to do without, who is more comfortable reading about adventure than experiencing it, who always felt awkward and who never knew what a happy, healthy marriage looked like, who was told she'd never realize her dream of having children, somehow (by the grace of God)... grew up, left home, went to college, got married to an amazing, godly man, survived nearly nine years of infertility and recurrent miscarriage, and had two beautiful daughters. That was me! I actually DID THAT. I haven't done anything that would be earth-shattering to most people, but they've been huge accomplishments to me.

Do I sometimes wish it hadn't been so dang hard? YES. I often wish that, even though I know that it taught me a whole lot -- so much more than I could have learned without having experienced it firsthand. (Allow me to say here that I'm fully aware of the many, many people who have had a way harder time than I could ever imagine. I'm not trying to make comparisons or dwell on which hardships are "worse," but only to reflect on my own experiences and how far the Lord has brought me personally.) I've realized that having things like this in my past that I've overcome have made me feel stronger. They've made me feel like I can accept and face a challenge head-on, knowing that I've made it through some tough things already.

I love this quote from William Barclay and I think I've shared it on this blog before, but it's worth repeating: The effect of testing rightly borne is strength to bear still more and to conquer in still harder battles. 
So, so true!

I don't write this to say that now I've entered into an easy time. No, in fact, I feel challenged more and more every single day because this parenting thing is HARD. More than ever before, I feel like daily I have to surrender and cry out to God for strength and wisdom and patience. I love my kids so much and I fought so hard to have them! I wouldn't change a thing and I'm forever grateful for these two lives entrusted to me, but that doesn't mean it's an easy job to wake up and do every day. I so badly want to do this job well, and I think that's partly what makes it such a challenge. I put pressure on myself to give it my best and I beat myself up when I fail. But, guess what? I know now that I can do the hard things.

One of my big challenges after I had Lily was breastfeeding. I won't give you all the gory details, but it started out rough. I knew, though, that it was something I really wanted to do. If it ultimately didn't work out, I knew it would be fine both for her and for me. I know that not everyone can or even wants to do it, and I pass no judgement on what anyone else decides to do, but I knew that I wanted to try. I had to set small goals for myself in the beginning, and it felt like a miracle every time they were reached and surpassed. I nursed Lily for 12 months, which was the highest goal I had set (in the beginning, not really believing I would ever get there). Just about two weeks ago I wrapped up 13 months of breastfeeding Anna. It was much easier for me the second time around (thank the Lord), but that's not to say it didn't have its own challenges. I bring this up as an example, though, because it was one of those events during which I had to keep reminding myself that I Can Do The Hard Things. Nursing a baby while running after, caring for, giving attention to, potty training, and generally keeping alive a toddler is a hard thing, and one I was admittedly not fully prepared for! But it was something I really wanted to do, and reminding myself that I had done hard things before truly did help me make it through.

Another reason I bring up breastfeeding is because weaning what I know will be my last baby is also a hard thing. While I'm secure and satisfied with my family, it's bittersweet to watch my youngest grow out of the baby stage. She's officially a toddler now, walking all over the house like she owns the place. :)
I know that watching my kids grow up is going to be extremely satisfying and extremely hard. Sometimes I think that those of us who had to fight extra hard to get our children find it so very difficult to watch them grow up. We try for so long and we wait so much, we suffer loss, we struggle while everyone around us has babies and more babies, and we pray our hearts out for our turn to have a baby -- and then they're not babies for long at all, are they? But I often remind myself that each new stage is sweet and beautiful, just as the last one was.

So here's to a new year, 2014.
Here's to turning one year older.
Here's to facing it all knowing that we can do the hard things, and knowing that it'll be worth it.

All About Anna

Since Anna's birth in November, I haven't done much blogging at all. It's often on my mind, though, and I've been wanting to write a post that is all about Anna. I figured now would be a pretty good time to write out some things that are unique about her now that she has reached the ripe old age of six months. More than half a year has gone by already! Next week Anna will be seven months, so there's no time to lose!

As you know, our first daughter Lily is our "rainbow baby" -- our child who finally arrived after loss. She is the first baby we got to take home. Anna Evangeline is the second, and we consider them both miracles. I like to think of Anna as my "something extra" -- lagniappe, as we say in Louisiana. She's my icing on the cake and my precious "bonus" gift from God.

When my husband and I were newly married and for a few years after, we secretly always envisioned our lives down the road with two daughters. I don't think I ever wrote that here on the blog before and it's not something I tell lots of people. It's not that we preferred girls or would have been disappointed with boys. We had always been super close to our nephews. So much so, I think, that it already felt like we had our own sons! We were just a young couple allowing ourselves to dream and imagining what the future might hold. We had no idea what was to come. We never imagined our lives would be turned upside down over the next decade and our faith tested as we tried to have children and faced many obstacles and great loss. So, while we may have thought two girls would be our dream come true, we put that idea aside and focused on the present. We prayed and hoped for a child in God's timing. Boy or girl, it didn't matter one single bit. It never had, really, we came to realize. We knew we would have loved sons or daughters however the Lord decided. We just wanted the chance to be parents.

So when November 2012 came around and we were about to meet our second daughter, she felt like the last piece of the puzzle finally slipping right into place. We remembered those long-ago dreams of having two girls in the backseat of our car, or sharing a room upstairs, or staying up late giggling with each other just as I'd done with my sister. It felt like God was giving back what was lost. I don't mean the children we lost. No, they can never be and will never be replaced. But God restored a dream to a married couple who were afraid to hope that it could actually come true. He brought back that old dream we'd almost forgotten about and made it a reality. Two beautiful girls! We are still amazed.

And now, here are some specifics about my Anna.

There are some things that I guessed at and some things that I knew for sure during my pregnancy with her. I imagined her fairer than her sister, in coloring. It turned out that I was right about that. Anna's hair is lighter and she has the bluest eyes (which I know may still change), and her complexion is fairer like mine. Lily's eyes, even when they were blue in the early weeks, were always so dark. She has beautiful brown eyes now, which I also love, but Anna's are bright blue. I'm thinking that even if they change color, they'll probably stay lighter. (In case anyone is wondering, their daddy has hazel eyes and mine are green.)
The thing I knew for sure was that she would be strong. Mercy, is she ever. Anna was born weighing only about four ounces more than her sister did at birth, but she has consistently been bigger and more active.

Eating:
At her six month checkup last week, Anna weighed 17 pounds, 11 ounces (75-80th percentile) and was just over 27 inches tall (90th percentile). Her sixth month has been pretty busy! In the last few weeks she has started sitting up all by herself and has now had a taste of rice cereal, oatmeal, bananas, carrots, and prunes. I've been fortunate to be able to breastfeed again this time around, so I still nurse several times a day and usually once during the night. This baby certainly loves to eat. Spoon feeding seems to have gone easier this time, but it may be because I started it a bit later than I did with Lily. Anna has for months carried on a love/hate relationship with her pacifier. You just never knew when she might want it and when it would just make her mad. That's kind of how she is about most things. Interestingly, she has recently decided that the paci is her friend. Silly kid!

Personality:
My "Anna bear" (so far the only nickname that has stuck, besides what Lily calls her -- "Baby Anna") gives very sweet snuggles and drooly, open-mouthed kisses with her still-toothless little mouth. She likes ACTIVITY. I always joke that we need to hire a three-ring circus to keep her entertained. She is at her happiest when the house is busy with guests or when we are out and about (although not so much in the car). People always tell me what a happy baby she is, and it's true... but she's at her best when others are present! She tends to get fussy much faster when we're just at home and it's quieter. Anna loves attention and she loves being held. She has a huge smile, one of the things we most adore about her. She loves to be surprised with a "boo" or a "peekaboo" and she is very ticklish.

Sleeping:
My baby girl is a pretty decent sleeper, but has surprised (and delighted!) us with a full night's sleep only a handful of times. We are hoping this will be part of her regular routine soon! We just moved her up to her own room and crib and out of the bassinet in our room a few weeks ago. She has adjusted pretty well but would much prefer it if we'd rock and hold her all night long. :) We never know how the night will go at this stage. Night before last she slept straight through, but last night we were up a few times with her. At six months she is taking usually three naps a day (which are now coming at predictable times).

Sisterhood:
One of my favorite things these days is watching my girls together. They love each other so much and seem happier when they are together. Anna loves to watch her big sister, and Lily has never been jealous of the new baby. Lily, who is shy upon meeting new people, will always use Anna as an ice-breaker, pointing to her and yelling, "There's baby Anna!" Of course, Anna is JUST coming to the stage where she can interact more and grab toys or cry when they are taken away, so Lily will have some adjusting to do! I hope they will learn to play well together and become good friends. Each and every night before bed we pray that Lily and Anna will love the Lord, love others, and love each other. At this stage it is incredibly sweet to see them loving one another.

Life is pleasantly full around our home lately. Motherhood continues to amaze me while also stretching and challenging me every single day. About two months ago I was (perhaps humorously to someone observing from the outside) frantically trying to balance potty training my two and a half year old and nursing my four month old, but we have settled in once again and adjusted to the new normal. After living with loss for so long, I'm humbled by this position and grateful for the opportunity.

To sum up, Anna is a precious addition to our family. We love her so much! The Lord gave us a sweet, wonderful, unexpected gift -- "something extra" -- when He gave us our Anna Evangeline. We pray that she'll always know just how special she is to us.

Happy New Year (almost a month late)!

Hello friends! Thanks for the sweet comments about the birth of our second little miracle. Anna is doing great and will (already!) be two months old on Monday. She is a very sweet baby and is a joy to have in our family. We are thrilled that she is here, and that we have two beautiful daughters after such a long season of waiting.

Anna has a sweet personality, loves to be held and talked to, and loves to eat! She's a little butterball and is much chunkier than Lily was at this age. Fortunately Anna and I got off to a great start with breastfeeding and it is still going smoothly. Lily is adjusting well and enjoys being a big sister. She pretty much does her own thing most of the time, but she likes to help and occasionally asks to hold Anna or just stops by to hold her hand or give her a kiss. Having two girls is super sweet! I look forward to watching them grow together and form a special bond as sisters over the years.

Adjusting to two children 26 months apart has been a challenge for me as a stay-at-home mom. I LOVE being at home with my girls; it's just been a matter of trying to find (and being flexible with) an ever-changing new routine. Things are settling down now that we are two months in, though, and Anna has a pretty decent sleeping pattern. We have moved out of the zombie parent stage and are now just your average tired parents. :) Both girls are actually napping right now and my hubby is running errands. It still comes as a nice surprise when I have a bit of "free" time. I'm happy to be able to dust off the laptop and update the old blog this afternoon!

We had a busy but joyful holiday season and were fortunate to have our families come to us this time since we weren't keen on traveling with a newborn. Anna got to meet all of her immediate aunts, uncles, and cousins even though she hasn't made her first trip home to Louisiana just yet.

You might remember that I was diagnosed with melanoma last spring, right after we found out we were expecting Anna, and that I had surgery on my right arm last June. Just as an update, I had my 6-month checkup in December, which included a chest x-ray -- common after a melanoma diagnosis since it can spread to the lungs. My x-ray showed some spots on the right lung, so I had a follow-up CT scan earlier this month to check those out. Yesterday I heard that the spots are benign (thankfully!), but that they want to do an ultrasound of a suspicious-looking lymph node under my right arm. (Hopefully it's just due to the fact that I'm breastfeeding, but they are very thorough at this hospital and I'm glad!) I'll be scheduling that pretty soon. It's all still pretty standard and routine, but I continue to deal with this melanoma almost a full year later and am hoping to soon get the all-clear. I often remind people -- YOU! -- to keep a close eye on anything unusual on your skin and see your dermatologist for regular checkups. It's always better to catch these things early, and I'm so fortunate that it happened that way for me!

January always brings feelings of starting over, and I'm feeling that in many ways as we start 2013. We're settling into a new home with a new baby this January. And yesterday was my birthday, so I'm starting off a new year in that regard as well. Thirty-six years old, and life is looking so much different from how it looked just a few short years ago. We're sometimes stressed, oftentimes overwhelmed, but always, always THANKFUL and deeply JOYFUL for the gifts we've been given.

I wish you all a happy and healthy new year, and continue to pray specifically for those who are continuing along on the infertility journey. Please drop me a line, send an email, or leave a comment and let me know what's new with all of you!

Here are some family pics we had taken in early December to use for our Christmas cards. Hope you had a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year -- even though it's almost February! :)

Twelve Months

The big day has come and gone. My sweet girl turned one year old last Wednesday, on September 21st! We had her birthday party, in the theme of the Very Hungry Caterpillar, at our house the Saturday before. It was a great day of celebration and we were surrounded by many of Lily's biggest fans. We had 12 adults and 6 children (including the birthday girl) and it was really just right for a first birthday party. It was very special to have our parents and siblings here, and we were only missing my husband's brother, his wife, and their son, who couldn't travel because they're getting ready to have our brand new little niece any day now!

Even though it was a relatively small party, we worked very hard the week leading up to it to get everything ready. The night before the party felt a lot like the night before Christmas. We put Lily to bed and tiptoed around the house setting up decorations and putting out presents, and when it was all done my husband and I looked at each other and had one of those "can you believe we're doing this" kind of moments.



Early the next morning we put out balloons and picked up her cake (which turned out so cute -- the bakery copied it perfectly from a photo I found on the Internet years ago) while welcoming our first party guests.

The day went so well and I think Lily really enjoyed herself. I wasn't sure how she might react to it all, but she couldn't have done better! She was happy and excited and in a sweet mood despite all of the activity around her. She got several new toys and lots of new books and clothes.

Every morning since the party she seems so excited to play with her new things. All year we'd been trying not to fill up the house with an excessive amount of toys, so I think she was really ready for and excited to have some new ones. And as far as eating cake goes, our girl acted like an old pro! You'd never have known it was her first time to try it. She loved it!

On top of all of that, my mom stayed the entire week with us and was able to be here to love on Lily for her actual birthday as well. We had a great time together.

Now, since this is probably the last detailed month-by-month update I'll post, here's what life looks like for Lily at age one:

Eating: The big news this month is that Lily has made the switch to cow's milk. We began gradually introducing it about 2 weeks ago and she likes it a lot, but she won't take it cold. I run her sippy cup under warm water and then she gulps it right down. We've said goodbye to formula for good and I haven't nursed her for over a week. The transition has gone more smoothly than I even imagined and I think that's because it was the right time. I'm beyond grateful that the "right time" for both of us coincided with my overall goal to try to breastfeed for the entire first year. I hope you can read my sincerity in those words because I truly mean it. I know quite a few precious moms who would have loved nothing more than to have been able to breastfeed their babies, and I know that it just doesn't always happen that way despite every possible effort. So I don't take that privilege lightly by any means.

Breastfeeding was one of the more challenging things I've ever done. In the beginning it was pretty close to hell on earth for me but we made it through some rough patches until it was WAY better, and I'm feeling overwhelmingly thankful and satisfied that we did it. I'm not at all ashamed to say that even though overall it was a great experience which I wouldn't trade for anything, I'm happy and relieved that it's done.

Sleeping: Nothing much new to report on sleep schedules. Lily's still napping twice a day, around 10 AM and 2 PM for about an hour each, and she goes to bed around 8:30 PM. It seems that our night-time pattern changes frequently, though, as any new thing works to disrupt her sleep. Last week was a stellar week as far as sleep went and we all felt happy and rested for about 6 days in a row... but we're back to waking up 2 or 3 times a night now and I think it's because Lily is cutting her top two front teeth. That's just my guess, but I'm sure it could be any number of other things! At any rate, she wakes up for the day around 7 AM (and this week it's been more like 6 AM) no matter how rough the night was. I don't know how she does it but you could truly set your clock by her!

Milestones: We still have a little "scooter" and I don't think she'll ever crawl in the traditional way on all fours. She gets around in her unique way very well, so I guess she sees no need to change it! She's cruising all around the furniture but hasn't taken any steps independently yet.

Like I mentioned above, Lily is cutting 2 new teeth and will soon have a total of 4. It's so funny to me when I see other children her age (or younger) with a mouth full of teeth!

Lily learned a new word about 2 weeks before her birthday. She started saying "Dada" and that's pretty much all we heard from then on. I like to joke that she finally learned the name of her very favorite person. That girl is still all about her daddy! "Dada" makes the fourth word in her sweet little vocabulary (along with uh-oh, Mama, and hi).

This month has been a big month for learning new things. Lily surprises me almost daily with things that I didn't know she knew. When I ask her if I can kiss her toes, she picks up her foot and puts it to my mouth. The other day I asked her where her hair was and she patted her head, and we did the same little game with her ear. I had no idea she could do that! I know it's not rocket science, but it's fun to watch her grow in her comprehension and other skills. This week we've been working on eating with a spoon -- what a mess! :)

Speaking of growing, at her one-year checkup today Lily weighed 21 pounds and was 30 inches long. She has gotten quite tall in the past couple of weeks and a few people have been commenting on it when we're out and about.

I know this has been a rather long post, but thanks for indulging me tonight and this entire year as I've written about Lily's growth and development. It's been quite a departure from my regular blogging but, frankly, it's been a welcome change for me. I've done a lot of healing this year, and we continue to be humbled and absolutely in awe of the fact that we have a child to raise, love, and hold here on earth. Thank you for celebrating her with us, dear friends.

Eleven Months

Could it be true that eleven months have come and gone and next month we will have a big one-year-old?
Here's the rundown of all that's new at our house:

Eating: I think the biggest change in the food department this month is that Lily now loves her green veggies. I don't know when or how the change happened, but I'm grateful for it! She never cared much for them in puree form; I always had to mix the greens in with other veggies to trick her into eating them. These days when I put cooked carrots, peas, green beans, or even bread on her tray, she always goes for the green veggies first. I love watching her little fingers pick up sweet peas one by one and get them into her mouth. They are definitely her new favorite food.


In my last post I wrote about how Lily had been sick with a virus. Well, even before that she had been having some tummy problems for a couple of weeks that I thought might have to do with teething. The doctor suggested, however, that we try taking her off of dairy for a few weeks to see if that helped. We've been two weeks without dairy and switched formulas (which she hated at first... thankfully she's still getting breastmilk, too). I'm eager to see the doctor next month for her checkup so we can go over it all again and hopefully introduce cow's milk soon and see how that goes. My plan is to wean her in the coming weeks and I really think she'll do well. Although it'll be bittersweet in some ways, I think the time is right for both of us.


Sleeping: Again, there's not much new as far as sleeping goes this month. We've had a pretty good week despite some early wake-ups, but Lily has been getting better about soothing herself back to sleep at night when she wakes up (usually around 1 AM and 4:30 AM -- it's funny how predictable their sleep cycles become). We are still at two naps a day. She always seems very ready for both, although sometimes it takes her a while to settle down. I'm finding this to be truer the more active and mobile she becomes. Still, her preferred way to fall asleep is to be rocked... and most often by me.

Milestones: Lily cut another tooth just a couple of weeks after her first one. She now has both of the bottom front teeth. I always thought I'd miss her gummy smile -- and I do! -- but there is something very cute and sweet about seeing those two little teeth sticking out when she smiles now.


My big girl is not walking yet, but pulling up is a breeze now and she is just beginning to cruise a very tiny bit along the furniture. She'll take only a step or two sideways along the couch or from one piece of furniture to another while holding on. Occasionally she will let go and stand there unsupported for a few seconds before realizing what she's doing. I think it's doubtful that she will walk before her first birthday, but she's starting to learn little by little.

Lily's new word this month is "hi." It's not a simple "hi" though; she says it exactly the way that I say it to her, which is a high-pitched, multi-syllable "hiiiiiiiiieeeeee!" Of course, we think it's very, very cute. :)

This month Lily really enjoys simple rhymes and counting songs like 1, 2, Buckle My Shoe and This Old Man. Playing patty cake isn't new, but now she does the hand motions along with me (although she needs help rolling 'em up).

I'm not sure if I've written about how much she LOVES books. One of her favorite times of the day is between bath and bedtime when she has story time with Daddy. They sit together on the couch and read 5 or 6 of her favorites and she sits there so quietly, listening and looking. This has been our routine for 3 or 4 months now and it is precious to watch them share that daily time together. Of course I read to her here and there during the day as well and she always loves sitting down with a book. Some of her favorites are:
Brown Bear - Bill Martin Jr.
The Foot Book - Dr. Seuss
Go Dog, Go! - P.D. Eastman
Barnyard Dance - Sandra Boynton
The Very Hungry Caterpillar/The Very Busy Spider - Eric Carle
The Big Red Barn/Goodnight Moon - Margaret Wise Brown

It's almost September and we can't wait for (hopefully) cooler temperatures and Lily's big birthday month!

Ten Months

My girl is only two months away from turning one year old! Many times lately when I look at her I feel like she is already twelve months and beyond. She is getting so big and changing so much that it seems every day we wake up to something different.

Here's what's new around here:

Eating: Overall I'm really proud of how Lily has done so far with learning to eat table foods. Naturally there are some things she just doesn't like, and she promptly spits them back out and then avoids choosing those things from her tray. I think her favorite so far is still tomatoes. I peel and chop them for her and she gobbles them up. Lily likes a variety of different fruits, so I try to keep the house stocked with plenty of them. This month she seems to enjoy yogurt a lot more, too. We switched to the yobaby brand and that made all the difference. Her favorite is the apple and sweet potato combo.
It's definitely a challenge to come up with different meal and snack ideas for Lily at this stage. There are always the old faithful things that she likes and I know she'll eat (carrots, sweet potatoes, breads, and cereals), but I also want to keep adding variety as often as possible while she is willing to try new tastes. I still try to introduce a new food or two every week. This week she tried plums and cottage cheese and both seemed to be a success!

Sometimes I find it completely mind-blowing that I'm nursing a 10-month-old baby. Of course it still shocks me that I wake up every day as someone's Mommy and I'm incredibly grateful and humbled for that, and for the privilege to breastfeed my baby for her first year. I was so afraid in the beginning that we weren't going to overcome some of our obstacles and be able continue with nursing for very long, but we made it through and are still going, thank the Lord. We are down to only 2-3 times a day now (morning and evening, and sometimes before the afternoon nap), and I try to work in at least 2 sippy cups of formula a day. Lily continues to not be a big drinker, so I feel like I'm offering milk to her all day long to try to make sure she gets close to the right amount.

Sleeping: Lily's sleep patterns are much the same as last month. She gets about 10-11 hours of sleep a night, usually with one or two wakings during the night, and is still taking a morning and an afternoon nap.

Milestones: My big 10-month-old can now say "uh-oh" and "Mama." Those are her only two words with meanings (well, that we know of!). She babbles a lot these days, mostly ba-ba-ba sounds. This month she seems to really be finding her voice and she likes to use it loudly! We think it's super cute when she yells out words like "BOB," "BOP," and "WHOP."
Lily can wave hello and bye-bye, clap her hands, and sign "more" and "all done." She still loves it when I sing to her, and I think her favorite song right now is the little Bible story song Zacchaeus.

My sweet girl is really showing a lot of personality these days and it's really fun to get to know that part of her.


She is very much a daddy's girl, and if he's anywhere near you'll find her in his arms. She loves to be held and carried by Daddy, but Mommy still makes her laugh the hardest and gets more kisses. :) It makes me so happy to see Lily being so affectionate with her extended family members as well. She loves to snuggle with her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins! Her face lights up when she sees those familiar faces (even though she's still sometimes shy at first).

Our BIG news this month is that Lily is mobile! I call it crawling, but technically we have a scooter. Lily is rarely up on all fours and has never crawled that way, but she scoots herself forward on her bottom using her hands and one knee while the other leg is tucked in (does that make sense?). Regardless of whether it can be called crawling or not, she sure does get herself around that way!


On top of that, she just pulled up all by herself for the first time this week. I was getting her ready for a bath two nights ago and I set her down in her bed to put the dirty clothes away. When I walked back into her room a few seconds later, she pulled herself right up as though she'd known how all along! There have been some big, big changes at our house for sure.


And one more little tidbit: Lily finally cut her first tooth around 9 1/2 months. She has her lower right front tooth (central incisor) and the one next to it is very close to erupting I suspect any day now.

It's a joy to watch this baby girl grow and change. She is less and less like a baby every day, which does make me a bit sad, but we are delighting in each new day and every new phase and skill that she picks up. We are so proud of our precious, happy girl!

P.S. Thank you all for your condolences, thoughts, and prayers last week after the death of my grandmother. They were much appreciated.

Eight Months

Lily is now eight months old… sigh. Next she’ll be going off to college! That’s how it feels sometimes because she is growing and changing so much. Here’s the rundown of what Miss Lily has been doing:

Eating: Lily continues to be my good little eater. I try to introduce one or two new foods each week and she likes almost everything. The biggest new things she’s having these days are yogurt and meats (turkey and chicken). She’s not nuts over the yogurt, either because the taste is not her favorite, or maybe because she’s not used to eating cold things.

She’s doing really well with her baby foods, and I think we’ll soon be giving her Stage 3 and chunkier foods. Right now she still wakes up to nurse around 6:30 AM. I feed her her breakfast of oatmeal and fruit at 9:30 AM. Lunchtime is 12:30, and I give her some of a meat dinner with one or two veggies. Then she usually has a mixed fruit or yogurt snack around 3:00. For dinner around 6:00 she has barley or brown rice cereal with another portion of a meat dinner and veggies. She will usually nurse again before bed around 7:30. Lily does nurse about 2 or 3 times during the day between meals as well. She will sometimes have a few sips of water or diluted apple juice after a meal, but so far she doesn’t seem to be a big drinker.

Whew! All of this eating sure does keep me on my toes. I have to pay attention to the schedule, especially because Lily doesn’t really cry when she’s hungry anymore. I pretty much watch the clock and feed her her meals regularly.

Sleeping: This month sleep has been the biggest challenge in our home. I don’t know what happened to my baby who used to sleep 9-10 hours straight at night!

Well, first things first: we made the big move to her crib in her own room around 7.5 months. It was our first night home after being away at my mom’s all week, so we thought it would be a good time for the transition. And she did really well for about a week or two. Lily’s sleep regression (if that’s what it is) started around 6.5 months, so I really don’t think it has much to do with sleeping in her crib. At first I was beside myself because she was waking up 2 or 3 times a night. That was nothing! Over the past two weeks the night wakings have increased to 6 times and sometimes more. Lily goes right back to sleep when we pick her up and she sleeps great… when we hold her. I know that people will suggest letting her cry it out, but I can’t do that. I just don’t have it in me. Instead, we have been trying to reduce the number of times we do go in (recognizing when it’s just her “sleepy cry” when she will go back to sleep on her own) and making sure to put her right back in her bed when we do pick her up rather than holding or rocking for hours. She is getting better about soothing herself when she wakes up, or requiring less intervention from us when she becomes really upset. Now we can usually just pat her or hold her hand for a few minutes until she settles back down and goes to sleep. We have also switched from white noise to some soothing music in her room at night and I think that helps.

We are much better off now than we were a week ago. Hopefully it will keep moving in the right direction. I think she is on her way to learning that her bed is a nice, cozy place to drift off to sleep. (*fingers crossed*) I have read that this is a common issue for babies this age, which makes me feel better I guess, but I’m still reading a couple of books (as quickly as I can) that I hope will help us get through this and, most importantly, help Lily to get a good night’s sleep. Oh yes, and we’re looking forward once again to the day when we’ll wake up well-rested at her normal wake-up time of 6:30 and realize that she slept all the way through!

Her naps seem to be unaffected by all of this night-time stuff. She’s taking two a day, one in mid- to late-morning and one in early afternoon, each about an hour long. And we have finally succeeded in making her bedtime earlier, usually between 7:30 and 8:00.

Milestones: It’s definitely true that lack of sleep has made us all a bit crazy this month, but honestly the good has far outweighed the bad. For example, Lily started giving kisses all on her own about a week ago. It is the sweetest thing EVER. Sometimes one of her precious, slobbery, open-mouthed kisses is all I need to get through a tough day! Those spontaneous kisses are so precious, and now she is learning to recognize what it means when we ask her for a kiss.

Also new this month – Lily now blows raspberries with her mouth and chews on her toes.


She babbles a whole lot more now than she used to, and we sure do enjoy hearing her voice and listening to all of her sweet new sounds. (No intentional words yet; her favorite “word” right now sounds like “abwa.”)

Her other cute new trick is that she can play peekaboo (we call it “peep eye” where I come from). If there is a blanket or burp cloth within reach, she will put it over her head and wait for us to ask “Where’s Lily?” so she can pull it down and get a big reaction out of us. It’s so cute and she loves this game, as I guess most babies do!

Lily’s looks are changing quite a bit as she grows. We used to hear everyone say that she looked so much like me, but now the general opinion is that she looks more like her daddy. What do you think?

Seven Months

Lily Rae is seven months old today!

I imagine that every month I'll write about how quickly time is passing, but I especially feel it every month on the 21st when Lily's age increases. Her daddy and I have decided that we want to keep saying that she is six months old for a little while longer!

Here's what she's up to.

Eating: Lily is now eating a pretty good variety of food. So far she likes all of the fruit we have tried (bananas, peaches, apples, prunes, and pears), and some of the vegetables. Carrots and sweet potatoes are her very favorites. She will eat squash and sweet peas only if I mix them with other veggies, but she absolutely does not like green beans. She is still eating her oatmeal and rice cereal, and we have now added barley cereal and brown rice cereal, as well as the cereals with fruit mixed in. She has recently started eating some of the stage 2 combination foods as well. There's not a whole lot to report about her eating lately. I'm very glad that she finally got over her loss of appetite after her six-month shots and is eating well again. While I haven't completely given up on making homemade baby food, the vast majority of food I've given her this month has been store bought. I love giving her the homemade stuff out of the freezer when it's available, but the fact is that it's hard to find a free Saturday or weeknight to make and store new food. Hopefully we can experiment with some other foods soon.

Trying out her high chair

We are still nursing also. It's going pretty well, but nursing during the day is beginning to taper off a bit, I think. I still offer it, though I guess it makes sense that she will want/need less and less milk now that she is eating more solid food. Lily still nurses really well for her first and last feedings of the day; she is just getting too busy and distracted to nurse for longer than a few minutes during the day. She would much rather play! I'm thrilled that we've made it to seven months, considering that my "big goal" starting out was six months. For now I'm planning to keep going and follow her lead in the coming weeks/months.

Sleeping: Oh dear. Sleeping. It's really not horrible, but it's not as good as it used to be. I've read about and heard others talk about the six/seven month sleep regression and I think we've been dealing with it at our house. Also, we "weaned" Lily from swaddling and I think that has made a difference also. We did it gradually, leaving one arm out for several weeks first and finally trying it with both arms free. That first night was awful! We actually went back to leaving one arm out of the swaddle for a little while before trying it again. Lily does pretty well now sleeping in her sleep sack with her arms free. We decided to stop swaddling because she had started rolling over. I'm glad we went ahead with it, even though she never does roll onto her tummy in bed. Just in case, though.

Anyway, we have had a few rough nights this month with Lily randomly waking up during the night. Most of the time she just needs a touch and some humming/shushing to settle her, but a few times we have spent an hour or longer trying to get her to go back to sleep. And I think that the right time has finally presented itself for moving her from the bassinet to the crib. It's a transition that we're going to tackle in the next week or two, and I think everyone will sleep better once we do it. Of course, we will still hear her on the monitor and respond when she needs us, but having her in her own room will mean that we won't constantly worry about waking her up when we walk across the noisy floor, use the bathroom, or even turn over in our creaky bed! I certainly will miss having her in her little bassinet in my room, but I feel like the time is right.

"I'm getting too big for this bed!"

Generally speaking, Lily still goes to bed around 8:30 or 9 PM (we're trying to make this earlier) and wakes up to eat between 6 and 7 AM. I can usually get her to snooze with me until about 9 before we start the day. She still takes two naps most days, although I'm afraid she's getting ready to give up her early evening nap. That will be okay with me as long as we can achieve that earlier bedtime.

Milestones: Lily is better at sitting up now. I'll put the Boppy around her if I need to walk away because she occasionally will fall over, but she is doing much better with it on her own. When Lily is playing on her tummy, she has started pushing up a little bit on her knees but no scooting or crawling yet. Boy, will our world change when she figures out how to get around! I know it's just around the corner.

One of the sweet pics taken by our talented friend, Crystal, this month.

Lily is grabbing everything in sight now. This week, for the first time, she pulled the glasses completely off of her great-aunt's face and tried to chew on them! Everything goes straight into her mouth, of course. The sweetest new thing I've noticed this month is that Lily is beginning to understand the little games that we play with her. She smiles when I say I'm going to "get her," even if I say it in a normal voice, because she knows that she's about to get tickled. She definitely responds to her own name now, also. Lily still LOVES for me to sing to her. Loves it! I feel like I sing all the livelong day, but my baby girl sure does enjoy it for some reason. If I am rocking her to sleep or even nursing her lately, she will look up at me and "fuss" and grab at my mouth with her little hand until I start singing, that little stinker! Her favorite songs are the Alphabet Song/Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (an easy transition for me if I get tired of one or the other since they have the same tune), The Wheels on the Bus, and the hymn 'Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus. There are other songs that she likes, but those are her favorites by far.

We have really been enjoying our outings with Lily lately. She can now ride up front in the shopping cart at the store, and she's also big enough for her upright stroller now. Last weekend we spent an afternoon shopping at the mall and Lily loved being pushed around in her stroller. We've made a few trips to the park this month also and she adores being outside.

At the park

That's what's new with my sweet Lily-girl this month. We're getting ready to leave tomorrow to spend a whole week with my family in Louisiana! It's Easter, of course, but it's also my sister's birthday on Monday and she (a teacher) and my nephews are on spring break from school all week long. We are so looking forward to some much-needed family time with them and with my mom. I love this time of year, and I wish you all a very happy Easter weekend!

Six Months

Monday was Lily's half birthday! Six months already. Goodness gracious.

It seems that she has had a big growth spurt this month. She hasn't changed a whole lot personality-wise in the past four weeks, but she has definitely gotten BIGGER. The other day I tried to dress her in an outfit she had worn a week or two earlier and it was way too small. I could barely snap it around her neck. Just last night her daddy tried to put her in a favorite pair of pajamas, and I swear she was an inch or two too long for them. She is growing rapidly, which I'm sure has a lot to do with the changes in her diet this month.
Here's the rundown:

Eating: Lily started rice cereal the day she turned 5 months old. It was slow going that first week as we were practicing and she was learning a new skill. We stuck with only rice cereal once a day for the first two weeks as she got more and more confident about eating from a spoon. I mixed the cereal with breastmilk, thickening the mixture up a bit each time. By the end of the second week she was doing great! The third week I started her on oatmeal as well, and she had 2-3 tablespoons of that in the morning and about 4 tablespoons of rice cereal in the evenings. By week four, we were ready to start fruits and vegetables. Following the four-day wait rule (to watch for allergies), I slowly introduced bananas (mashed with a fork) and pureed carrots over the next couple of weeks. Because I wanted to keep her "regular" with all these changes and the additional iron in her diet, I started giving her pureed prunes as well. This has seemed to help a great deal with her digestion. This week we added barley cereal for the first time, and by the end of the week we will introduce another veggie -- I think sweet potatoes.
I'm so proud of Lily for being such a great little eater. She hasn't refused anything and seems eager to try new foods. She takes a cautious taste of the first spoonful and then eagerly opens her mouth for a bite until her bowl is empty! She especially likes the carrots and bananas at this stage.


Right now a typical day of meals looks like this:
6:30 AM: Breastmilk only
10:30 AM: Breastmilk, 4 Tbsp oatmeal, 1/3 mashed banana OR 1/2 container pureed prunes
3:00 PM: Breastmilk, "snack" of pureed carrots OR mashed banana
6:30 PM: Breastmilk, 4 Tbsp rice cereal OR barley cereal, 1/2 container pureed carrots
9:00 PM: Breastmilk only
(These are approximate times, but she follows this schedule pretty closely on a typical day.)

Lily is still getting most of her nutrition from nursing at this point. I nurse her before every solid food feeding and use expressed breastmilk for mixing up her cereals. This has been fairly easy to keep up with for the first month, but I'm finding it more and more difficult to keep a supply of pumped milk available for mixing with food. Early on I tried mixing her oatmeal with formula once but she didn't eat well for that meal. I gave up on that for a while, but I tried it again for one meal this week and she seemed to not notice a difference. Hopefully I can start doing this more often now to get her used to the taste and to give myself a bit of a break.
Overall, I'm very pleased with how well she is doing with the introduction of new foods. One of her favorite things in the world is when she finishes a meal and I say "All done!" and her daddy and I clap and cheer. She LOVES it and responds with the biggest smiles!

This week I tried my hand at making some homemade baby food. I cooked and pureed sweet potatoes and pears, and pureed some fresh papaya, storing it all in the freezer to try later. It went pretty well and I'm eager to see how she'll like them. I plan on trying to make my own applesauce, and steamed and pureed green beans and peas as well. I probably won't make everything Lily eats (I have no problem giving her store-bought baby foods), but I think it's worth giving it a try. My husband and I were able to work on some of it together, which ended up being kinda fun.

Pureed pears & papaya

Mashed sweet potatoes

Sleeping: There really are no big changes in Lily's sleeping patterns since last month. One thing that I started doing differently, though, is after her early morning feeding, instead of returning her to her bassinet, I've started bringing her into the bed with me and we both sleep until about 9:00. I absolutely love this sweet time for the two of us to snuggle and rest together for an hour or two before starting the day. I consider that her first nap, although it could be more of a continuation of her nighttime sleep. She naps again after lunch (around 12:30) and again in the evening (around 5:00). Those naps last anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours.
Lily is usually ready for bed by 9 PM if not a little bit sooner. She either falls asleep while nursing or I rock her to sleep. It's not uncommon for her to wake up once during the night, but if she does, her daddy rocks her back to sleep and it usually takes only a few minutes.


Milestones: This month Lily is getting better at sitting up on her own. She can do it in the "tripod" position, supported by her hands and arms while leaning forward, for several seconds at a time. I've noticed that her fine motor skills are improving, and she is learning to reach out and grab things that are close by. I have to be careful not to hold her bowl too close when feeding her! She can also reach out and find a toy that she has dropped if it's close enough.
Just this week I can hear her forming some new sounds when she babbles. I've heard a few "ba" and "ma" sounds, and that is definitely something brand new.
Every day I look in her mouth and run my finger along her gums to check for teeth, but there aren't any there. She has been chewing and drooling a lot over the past two months but nothing has happened yet.

Lily will have her six-month checkup and shots in a couple of weeks. I'm dreading it, as always! Those shots still break my heart. I'm always eager to hear a good report, though, and see how much my girl has grown. I think she'll be tipping the scales this time, that little chunk!


Thanks for keeping up with my girl and following along with us as she grows. We had some portraits taken of her at Target last week, and I know we're biased, but we think they are pretty adorable! I'll have to share some of our favorites with you soon.

True or False

When you are trying to have a baby, there is no shortage of advice that people want to give you. What many think are helpful and wise suggestions become pretty routine to you when you have been facing infertility for several years. When I finally became pregnant and it looked like this baby was going to be here to stay, I realized that the advice doesn't quit! Ah, and it continues on and on well after your baby is born. Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of good advice. Admitting that I need help or that I'm wrong about something has never been a weakness of mine. But I think we can all agree that sometimes unsolicited advice can be pretty annoying.

I'm going to address some of the advice we've gotten and predictions that turned out to be true and some that didn't, but the key words here are "for me." I don't mean for this post to be negative, but simply to show that not everything works out exactly the same way for every person. Something that works for me may very well not work for you, and vice versa. And I had never really understood just how true that was until I went through recurrent pregnancy loss and infertility. It's amazing how hard it is to find someone whose experience is exactly like yours. Sure, a lot are similar, but it's rare to find one exactly the same because everyone is coming from an entirely different place. We have different bodies, different problems, different doctors, and different outcomes. Then I came to understand how truly different and unique babies are. They may grow and develop over a similar timeline, but their personalities are certainly unique.

At the same time, I recognize that we can only speak from our own experiences. A lot can be said and learned from a good suggestion or word of mouth. At any rate, I'll keep this post light and try to share some of the good, the bad, and the silly when it comes to some of the advice and predictions I've heard over the past year or so.

1. You'll never read a book/watch TV/see a movie again once the baby comes. False.
Okay, I'm going to pretty much call this one "true" for me in the first month or so after the baby. It's hard to get into a schedule and figure things out in those first weeks. All you can think about is eating and sleeping (for the baby and for yourself), but after a little while you can begin to enjoy some of those things again. I used to hear this statement all the time. As far as reading goes, in my opinion if you love reading, you will find time to do it. Nursing has provided a great opportunity for me to continue to read (or to watch some TV shows on the DVR). It's at a slower pace, though, and these days I rarely choose it over sleep once I get in bed at night, but I have finished a few books in the past 6 months.
We have been to only one movie since September. Around my birthday in January, my sister-in-law came over to watch Lily for a few hours while my husband and I went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1. It was our first (and remains our only) outing without the baby, but we prefer to spend most of our time all together, the three of us. There are some sacrifices that I knew would come which I consider totally worth the trade-off.

2. Your breastfed baby will never sleep through the night. False.
I heard this more than once when I was expecting Lily. I was planning to nurse, and although I didn't really encounter any opposition, some people seemed convinced that my baby was going to be too hungry to sleep unless we gave her formula at night or started cereal at 4 weeks (yes, 4 weeks!). While I know it's true that breastfed babies need to eat a bit more often, I think Lily is doing a great job with sleep. She started giving us 6-7 hour stretches at night months ago and now sleeps for 9-10 hours before waking up to eat.

3. Time will pass by more quickly than ever. True.
I've said before than when you're in the middle of IF/RPL, the days seem to drag on but the years go pretty quickly -- meaning that before you know it, you feel like you've lost nearly a decade of your life. Well, ever since my daughter was born, I truly don't know where the days, weeks, and months have gone. All of the people who told me that the months after the baby came would feel much faster than the months I spent pregnant were totally right. I feel like Lily's first year will be over before we know it. She will be 6 months old in just a few short weeks and that seems impossible.

4. The assumption that our problems with fertility are over now that we've had a baby. False.
The truth is that we are enjoying life as a family of three right now and trying not to spend too much time thinking about what might come next. We aren't guaranteed another pregnancy, and we know that is our reality. Even if we should get that chance in the future, our concerns will be much the same as they were last year. Of course I hope that Lily might have a sibling someday. It does give me some reassurance that it could happen again now that a baby has survived in my body, but my record is still not impressive. Still, I hold on to the same promise that nothing is impossible with God.

5. Your life will be totally different. True.
I think that when people told us that our lives would change drastically, some meant it in a positive way and some in a negative way. And I won't lie to you and tell you that I think waking up every single day and taking care of a baby is easy, but I'm finally doing what I always wanted to do. My love for this baby makes even the hard days worth it. After wishing for her for so many years, I certainly don't take this privilege for granted! My life IS totally different now, and for that, I'm thankful.

Five Months

Where is the time going? My girl is five months old today, and it seems that the time is passing faster than ever.

Lily remains around the 50th percentile for weight and the 75th percentile for height. Lately she is looking so chunky to me, which I find completely adorable.
Here's a quick rundown of what she has been up to:

Eating - We are still breastfeeding. In the beginning when it came to nursing, I really didn't know how it would go, so I tried to set small, reasonable goals for myself along the way. First I just tried to get past those difficult first 3 weeks and then make it to 6 weeks. After that, the goal of 3 months was so much easier but still had its challenges. Now we're a month away from the 6 month mark, which was my "big goal." Anything beyond that to me is great and I'll consider it a bonus!
Lily nurses about every 4 hours during the day and wakes up to eat once during the night. Just today I decided to try feeding her rice cereal with a spoon. She has been giving several cues that she might be ready, so I gave it a shot today just to experiment. I thought she did pretty well with it. I think she may have swallowed a few bites! She certainly was interested, so I'll keep trying her out with it over the next few weeks as we get ready to introduce some other new foods like oatmeal, fruits, and vegetables. It feels like a whole new (kinda scary/intimidating) world.

Sleeping - Lily is doing very well with nighttime sleeping. She goes to bed around 9 PM and usually doesn't wake up until around 7 AM. Most mornings she will even go back to sleep for another hour or two after that first feeding. We are typically up for the day around 8:00, and on rare occasions, 9:00. Nap times aren't as easy, but it's going okay. I've learned to anticipate when she will be ready to nap so she doesn't get overly tired and cranky. Even then, though, sometimes she fights sleep so hard. On a good day, she will take about 3 naps, ranging from 1.5 hours to 2.5 hours at a time. I'm pretty happy with her "schedule" as it is now. It's not super rigid, which I guess is a good thing. One big thing I've learned in the past 5 months is that just when you get used to a baby's routine, they tend to throw you a curve ball or two. It certainly keeps me on my toes.
We are still putting her to bed in her bassinet in our bedroom. Soon we will have to transition her to her crib in her room, a thought which still makes my stomach hurt a little.


Milestones - In the past few weeks Lily has picked up a few new skills. She now grabs her feet just about every time she's on her back. She hasn't put them in her mouth yet, but I'm sure that's coming. She has recently mastered rolling from her back to her tummy. It's cute to watch her practice this new trick, but it has made her play time a bit frustrating for her. She gets tired of being on her tummy and can't always figure out how to roll back over, so I usually have to go rescue her after a while.

Playing - Lily does enjoy her time playing on a blanket on the floor. Her favorite toys right now are her Links, soft blocks, her Baby Einstein piano, and picture books. She continues to love it when I sing to her, and her favorite songs are the ABC song (she smiles every single time), and The Wheels on the Bus, which works pretty well when she is fussy and needs settling down. Some days I am flat out exhausted from singing all day long!


This is what my days are like with this sweet, growing 5 month old. I'm finding that parenting is one of the most challenging yet rewarding things I've ever done. Taking care of a little one every day is more hard work and more of an adjustment that I'd ever imagined, but it fills my days with more smiles and love and joy than I'd ever hoped for.

Four Months

Lily Rae is four months old today!


I used to say that six months was my favorite age for a baby. I always loved that age because they were playful, smiley, and chunky, and they usually could stay put in one spot. I'm sure I'll love it when Lily gets there, but right now it's hard to imagine any age cuter than three to four months. I've been enjoying this stage so much. Besides, all the things I love about the six month stage are true about her now!

Right now my girl weighs just under 13 pounds. Her four-month checkup isn't scheduled until February 1, so I'll know her exact weight and height then. We did have to see her doctor last week because she wasn't feeling well. It's so sad when you do your very best to keep your baby protected and healthy but something manages to creep in. I'd noticed for a day or two that her poopy diapers didn't look quite right. The color was different and I thought I noticed some mucus in them as well. On the third day I called to check with the nurse. Lily hadn't been running a fever (I'd been checking), so they told me to just watch her for another day and save the next diaper if it looked the same. That was the plan, until later that afternoon she refused to nurse. I couldn't get her to eat for the life of me. She would just cry and cry when I tried to feed her. I called the doctor's office back and they said to bring her in. After listening to her symptoms, he said it sounded like she had a little intestinal infection that was causing her pain when she tried to eat. He wanted me to try again to see if she would nurse, and he left the room to give us some privacy. She did eat, poor thing. At that point she had not eaten for about 7 hours (which sounds bad, but I guess she had really missed only one feeding).

The doctor said we did the right thing to call and come in before she got dehydrated. Of course, I would have kept trying to feed her at home too, but I was glad we went because he checked her ears and throat and all of that and said they all looked great. It is always reassuring to know that she's gaining weight, and she weighed 12 lbs, 13.8 oz. He did not give any medicine to treat her, because the virus would just have to run its course. He said the best thing to do was feed her as often as she would eat. This is what we did for the next couple of days. For a sick baby, she did remarkably well. At least once a day, though, she would refuse to eat and we would wait a while and give her a bottle of breastmilk, which she seemed to take a bit better. After two or three days of this she was eating normally again, and after about a week her diapers were looking normal. I'm so glad that now she is feeling better. It's amazing what you can tell just from looking at a baby's poop!

Aside from that little tummy ache, Lily is doing really well. She normally eats about every 3-4 hours. Nursing is going great, which I still consider a blessing each and every day. I remember in the first month, a dear friend of mine told me that one day nursing would be a relaxing and enjoyable time for baby and for me. She said I could just kick back and watch a movie, but I couldn't imagine having a free hand to hold a remote at that time! It seemed like I would never get to a place where breastfeeding wasn't stressful or painful, but now what she said is exactly true. I look forward to taking a break to sit and nurse my baby 4 or 5 times a day (and once during the night). I use the time, usually about 40 minutes total, to catch up on TV shows on my DVR or read a book, which is easier to do on my new Kindle that I got for Christmas! Sometimes, though, I just sit and look at Lily, stroking her sweet head (which has less and less hair on it every day), or holding her busy, constantly-moving hands. Now, nursing is a good time for me to sit quietly and thank the Lord for giving me the desire of my heart.


Lily's sleeping habits are pretty good for this age, I think. During the day she usually wants a nap about 2 hours after she eats. Her naps are usually pretty short, though, between 30 minutes and an hour. Sometimes she will nap for almost 2 hours, but she doesn't do this every day. At night she will sleep for about 7 hours straight, waking up to eat around 5 AM, and then she will sleep for 2 or 3 more hours before getting up for the day. I would love for her to have a slightly earlier bed time and to take longer naps (she usually gets fussy after a couple of those little cat-naps in a row), but this schedule is very livable and such a relief after those tough newborn days! Lily is still sleeping in her bassinet in our bedroom. Pretty soon I know I'll need to move her to her crib in her own room, but I'm just not ready for her to be that far away.


Lately Lily is becoming more and more interested in her toys and books. It's fun to watch her discover new things. Just about everything that she gets her hands on goes straight into her mouth. When I'm bathing her these days, I have to wash her hands and hold them tightly before I hurry up and rinse them so she won't eat soapy fingers. Still her favorite thing to look at or play with is people. All it takes to get her to smile or laugh is just a look in her direction. She absolutely loves it when her daddy and I make her "fly" above our heads. This gets a laugh almost every time. I try to do tummy time with her most days, but she doesn't care for it very much at all. Her head control is really good, though, and she has started enjoying time in her Bumbo seat.


I can't believe that four months have passed already. Suddenly the time seems to be flying by while we try to cherish every moment. Yesterday, January 20th, it was a whole year since we had the positive pregnancy test that brought us our beautiful daughter. What a year it was! She's finally here and we absolutely love being her parents.