I remember writing a post back in March when I reached 100 days of this pregnancy. Today is day 200! I can't believe that I've been pregnant for 200 days... in a row.
Maybe it seems like a weird thing to do, but that made me curious about how this number compares to my other pregnancies combined. I added up the weeks and they totaled 53. That's 371 days. Six pregnancies and more than a year of total time I'd spent pregnant without bringing a baby home. That seems like a huge chunk of time in my mind, even though I know it was spread out over about 6 years. And even though the number seems big, I know it doesn't compare to the number of days and weeks I've spent longing for a baby and hoping that one day my dream would be fulfilled.
Thank the Lord, these 200 days have been different. They've been fruitful days. Days that have brought us closer and closer to having a baby in our arms instead of only in our hearts and our memories.
Last weekend I reached 28 weeks -- the third trimester! It is still so hard for me to fathom. Me: seven months pregnant. I don't know how or why, but I know that my heart is overwhelmed and so full of thankfulness for this little life that God has granted and sustained. After so many years of problems (some identified and so many unidentified) resulting in miscarriage after miscarriage, I'm not sure I ever truly believed that I would have a healthy pregnancy. But the weeks keep passing and this baby keeps right on growing and living. And we are amazed and delighted. I just went back to the OB today for my regular visit and things are looking good. (I got the results for my glucose screening and was so happy to hear that they looked fine and I passed! Everything else is going along as scheduled.)
It seemed impossible to me. Totally impossible. But then I remember a verse in the Bible that I'd known for many years but really couldn't have told you the context until recently. It's in the first chapter of Luke, and it's the story of when the angel Gabriel visited Mary to tell her that she would give birth to Jesus. Gabriel explains to her that her relative Elizabeth is also having a child, and I love the way that he says this part: "...she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month. For nothing is impossible with God." (verses 36-37)
Gabriel was trying to get a point across to Mary. She wondered how she could possibly become pregnant since she was a virgin. Gabriel wants her to know that God could do what seemed impossible to her. He could even make a barren woman pregnant!
She who was said to be barren. Can you relate? I can. But isn't it wonderful that God isn't afraid of that word? My physical problems and my fears and doubts and even my history with miscarriage weren't surprising and were not an impediment to Him. For nothing is impossible with God!
I hope this encourages you today if you feel like your situation is impossible. I know that it doesn't help at all sometimes to hear someone say, "Hey, it happened for me! It will happen for you!" Sure, you might just want to punch that person in the face, knowing that they don't have a guarantee of what will happen in your future. Sometimes I felt that way, too. But I also know that it did my heart tremendous good to hear about someone who made it through. Maybe it was someone whose story sounded a lot like mine or even much worse. I needed to know that God could still move even though I doubted.
Today I just want you to know that sometimes the impossible truly does happen. That's what I want this blog to testify to. We serve a God who can look at what seems like a big, jumbled, impossible mess to us and almost hear Him say, "No problem. I can fix that."
(This was the precious cake that was at our baby shower given by my husband's coworkers a few weeks ago. I was so touched by it!)