Saturday, August 23, 2008

Where Does the Time Go?

Sometimes I get very overwhelmed about getting older. It feels like I am running out of time and it is just passing by too quickly. I think I would be able to handle it (a little) better if not for the delay in having children. I know 31 really isn't all that "old," considering the fact that this week my grandma is turning 91! The older I get, though, the more hurried I feel.

I don't blame my mom for this since she had no way of knowing what my future held, but she always told me to have my children while I was still young and had the energy. Mom had my sister and me when she was in her early-to-mid-twenties. After she and my dad divorced and she married my step-dad, she had my little brother at the age of 35. She was always very honest about how difficult it was. Part of that was the feeling of starting over again with a little one, and I can see how that would be hard. I think it was a whole new ball game for her then, not to mention the difference between raising girls and raising a boy. Needless to say, after getting married at age 21 I never thought that by this time I would still have no children.

The other day I was meditating on how much times have changed since we started trying to have a baby. We made the decision in 2001, but didn't really start trying until 2002. Here are some of the ways my life has changed between 2002 and 2008:
  • We bought our first home in the summer of 2002.
  • In December of 2002 our second nephew was born. Both of our nephews, as of this month, are in school.
  • The hubby and I have been on an airplane 5 times, which is pretty good considering we hadn't really traveled at all since our honeymoon in 1998.
  • Before 2002 I rarely went to the doctor, had never been in the hospital, had never had blood drawn, and had never had any kind of surgery.
  • In 2007, I said goodbye to my twenties.
  • After LASIK eye surgery a few months ago, I no longer wear glasses or contacts!
  • This summer my husband and I had our 10th wedding anniversary.
  • I weigh about 30 pounds more than I did back in 2002.
Some of those are great things and some are not so great. Our lives are bound to change over time. To put it in perspective, though, consider how much has happened in our country and the world in the past 7 years:
  • In 2002 Enron was in the news, and everyone's favorite new TV show was American Idol.
  • In 2003 Martha Stewart was indicted, the Space Shuttle Columbia was lost, and the Invasion of Iraq began.
  • In 2004 George W. Bush began his second term as president, and the Boston Red Sox won their first World Series since 1918.
  • In 2005 Hurricane Katrina devastated parts of Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama.
  • In 2006 astronomers decided that Pluto was no longer a planet.
  • In 2007 the iPhone hit stores.
  • In 2008 the U.S. will elect a new president, and although it didn't make national news, I started blogging.

All of these things have happened since the time we decided to have a child! It's crazy how things change. We have even changed our minds several times about what we would name our baby boy or girl. Names that we thought were perfect back then are now not so trendy or have been used over and over by our friends and relatives.

It's pretty sobering to think about life passing us by. I know it probably wouldn't seem any slower if we did have children, but maybe then I wouldn't feel like I'm running to catch up with everyone else.


andrea_jennine said...

I can definitely identify with these feelings. I like to turn to Psalm 90, especially v. 15, when I'm feeling anxious about time passing. It puts things in perspective and gives me hope and faith.

I Believe in Miracles said...

What a great post!

Thanks for the continued encouragement. I love how you put into perspective how you've changed, but also the world.

I like the idea of playing catch up to everyone else. That's totally what I've been feeling a lot lately.