Wednesday, August 20, 2008

A New Problem

This blogging thing is still pretty new to me. As a person who doesn't necessarily share every detail about my life with everyone I meet, I'm finding it pretty hard to reveal things I'm going through right now. It's easier to talk about things that happened in the past but not so easy to disclose how I feel today. I think I'm worried that people who know me will look at me differently.

My Granny used to say that you shouldn't tell everything you know because then the other person will know what they know AND what you know, and they'll know more than you. (Sounds confusing at first, but it makes sense when you think about it. For a woman with virtually no formal education, she was very wise.) So, know that full disclosure is difficult for me.

The last thing in the world that I need right now is another complication or another hurdle to get over on my way to the finish line (and by "finish line" I mean a successful pregnancy, not my ultimate demise). You can imagine my frustration when last month I was faced with amenorrhea. I know, words that end in "rrhea" are usually bad news! If you don't already know, amenorrhea is defined as "abnormal suppression or absence of menstruation." In other words, last month I totally skipped my period. No explanations. It just didn't show up. For a person who is trying to get pregnant, this poses a real problem.

At first I thought it meant great news. I was on vacation with family, so I was away from home. A week had already passed and by the time we got home it had been two weeks. I finally took a home pregnancy test. Negative. Ok, this has happened to me before. I've gotten a negative result, waited a few days, and then a positive. But the problem was I didn't "feel pregnant." I did what my doctor said to do and gave the office a call because I'd missed my period. If you regularly read my blog you know what's coming. You guessed it, another run-in with Rhonda. She told me that I could come in for a blood test. When she called me back, these were her exact words, "We got your results back. Your pregnancy test was, of course, negative." Ouch. Gee, Rhonda, you really know how to make a person feel good. Anyway, she told me I could either wait it out another week or take some drug she didn't bother to identify that would induce a period. I couldn't collect my thoughts fast enough, so I told her I'd wait.

Another week passed and still nothing changed. Of course, the other frustrating thing is that now I feel like my cycles are all messed up. Maybe some of you have had a similar experience. Does it mean I didn't ovulate last month? I'm so angry that my only contact at the doctor's office is Rhonda the Grump and I absolutely hate calling her with questions. I went ahead and got the medication called out (it's Prometrium, 200 mg for 5 days) and started taking it with hopes of becoming regular again soon. I hate feeling ignorant about what's going on with my body. I hate turning to Google for questions that should be answered by my doctor. I'm so aggravated!

Seriously though, if you see me in real life at the grocery store or at church in the next few weeks, please don't say, "Hey did you ever get your period?" or I will turn and run in the opposite direction! Really.

Note: I finished taking all 5 days of the medication on Saturday (8/23), and by last night (Monday, 8/25) I had started bleeding. I hope things return to a normal schedule. My best answer is that last month was pretty stressful. (?)


Andrea said...

I don't like Rhonda at all. Your granny on the other hand, I like the sounds of her a lot! (And thanks for the instructions on what to say/not say. Foot-in-mouth-prone people like me need all the help we can get!)

I Believe in Miracles said...

Rhonda needs some advice on how to relate things to patients. She sounds super insensitive. Uck.

I find it so much easier to relate to people in the blogger world that are going through the same thing that to relate to people in person because few of my friends are even ttc or those that did have 2 kids.

Do real life friends read your blog?

Sorry about absent period. That's so strange. Have you ever had that before?


Andrea said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! I love yours, I will definitely be visiting more often. My favorite book of all time is Jane Eyre :-)

I know what you mean by not wanting to reveal things to people you know in person. The only people that read my blog are people I don't know in person. I'm glad I have my blogger friends to encourage and help me out and maybe someday I'll share this blog with people I know personally.

Stacey said...

Uh-oh, I will need to be careful to keep my Andreas straight. :) Thanks for visiting, new Andrea! Anyone else who appreciates Jane Eyre is a friend of mine. Best book ever.

I wanted to address the topic of sharing my blog with people I know in real life.
For me, that decision came as more of an afterthought. I started writing the blog first for my own form of therapy, and second to find others like me. I had no idea how big the blogging community was! It has been really cool to make connections with you guys (y'all, as we say in TX).
I decided to share it with a few personal friends a little bit later because I thought it might help explain what we're going through and help answer some questions all at once.
The feedback so far from friends has been wonderful. I don't, however, want everyone I know to have access to my thoughts and feelings. For that reason, I've decided to limit the number of friends I lead to the blog. I don't want it to hinder by ability to write exactly what I'm feeling or experiencing.
It's interesting to note that many bloggers don't share their blogs with in-real-life friends. So far I've been happy with the limited exposure to friends.

Connie said...

I have a strong desire to track down "Rhonda" and give a piece of my mind (and a swift kick in the tushy!) Since I know her real name I might just do it! I mean, why on Earth would a woman that insensitive be working THERE!? ARUGH!!! (insert smiley with very angry eyebrows)

bonjovijennie said...

hey!! now we have synced up periods!
i would like to give rhonda a 3 stooges poke in the eyeballs and then connie can administer her swift tushy kicks right out the door!