At any rate, lately I've been thinking about "nesting," the urge that many pregnant women have to start cleaning and organizing the house to get ready for baby.
It has been about seven years since I started trying to have a baby. I guess I should have a very big and orderly nest by now! I do generally keep the house pretty clean and organized, but I have found myself doing some nesting over the years. With the first few pregnancies I bought several books and even a few cute baby outfits that I just couldn't pass up. I feel like so much time has passed since then that the books may be out of print and the clothes out of style. I used to have the books out in a basket for easy reading, and the clothes all hanging neatly in the closet on their cute little hangers. A little while back, though, I boxed up all of that stuff and put it on a shelf. Not because I'd lost the desire to have a baby but because it was too hard to see it all there just waiting and not getting used. I guess I was almost afraid of turning into Miss Havisham from Dickens' Great Expectations, who stopped all the clocks in her house and forever wore her wedding dress after being left at the altar. I don't want to have a nursery set up just yet. I'm afraid it will just remind me of past hurts and failures.
As the years have passed I've found some other unusual ways to nest. Back in 2005 I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I'd been putting it off for several years and it was one of those things I thought would be good to take care of before I became a mom. Likewise, two months ago I finally had LASIK eye surgery. It has been great! I can't believe I don't have to deal with my contacts anymore. I'd been considering it for years. I must admit that part of my reason for going ahead with it was that it will be nice to be able to see when I have to wake up and take care of a baby.
Don't worry, I'm not going to go surgery crazy! I think I'm done for a while (unless I decide to go ahead with that professional teeth whitening I always daydream about). But I think in some ways it helps. I like the feeling that at least I've gotten some things accomplished during this waiting period. Too bad I've forgotten how to crochet.