Escape

I have a confession. I'm not sure why I feel the need to start this post that way. I'm not quite convinced whether what I do is good or bad (or neither). The confession is: I like to escape.

I'm not like the runaway bride or anything. I just love getting completely lost in a novel or a movie. I'm guessing this isn't a rare condition. It's pretty clear that I'm not supporting the movie industry all by myself! People like to imagine they're part of an epic adventure or an amazing love story. I like that too, but usually I'm seeking refuge. I find comfort in the pages of a book. For a few hours I can forget about my problems and read about somebody else's life. I've been doing this for years and years, even before infertility became a part of my life. When I was growing up we barely had enough money to get by. When I was 7 years old, my mom finally divorced my dad after too many years of his drinking, cheating, and abuse. Even after she married my step dad things always felt pretty unstable at home. Books were my great escape.

These days I find it has become even more therapeutic. Sometimes it's a bit more literal and I actually get to escape in the form of a vacation. That, for me, is the ultimate freedom. Because we rarely traveled when I was younger, I feel like I have a lot of catching up to do. There's so much I want to see! After our third miscarriage my husband quickly planned a week-long trip to New England for the two of us. We hadn't had a real, get-on-a-plane vacation since our honeymoon. It was fantastic! It was October and nature's colors were at their best. We drove all over Vermont, New Hampshire, and Southern Maine. Needless to say, I was hooked. I got the travel bug.

Two years later we took a trip that fulfilled two dreams for me. We went to Nova Scotia, Canada to see the original Acadia. I had been researching my Cajun roots and felt such a strong desire to go there. On that same trip we traveled to Prince Edward Island and saw author L.M. Montgomery's beloved homeland that inspired Anne of Green Gables. I'd always dreamed of going there after watching that program on PBS when I was a young teenager. It was everything I hoped it would be.

Last year the hubby and I took advantage of a couple of business trips and turned them into vacations. We had a wonderful time in Washington, D.C. in the summer, and by the time the year was over we'd been to both coasts with trips to California and Florida. There are still lots of places on my list but I'm so happy to have seen those beautiful places. I've been in awe each time.

Of course, there's always the trip back home. The unpacking. The last page of a great read. The end credits of an awesome movie. Back to reality and back to those problems that made me want to run in the first place. They haven't disappeared, but I feel refreshed. Escaping reminds me that the world is a big place and there's so much more out there than what I can see right now.