Heartbeat

For two weeks I've been telling myself that, by tonight, we would be either very happy or very sad. At today's ultrasound we would hear either good news or bad.

Today, it's good!

We were able to see a very tiny baby with a healthy heartbeat of 123.

It was a huge relief for today! I have to take this one day at a time and enjoy each and every victory, so in that regard we are very happy and relieved. Because of my experiences having miscarried at 9 weeks and 10 weeks and 11 weeks, I know that I won't fully take a deep breath until we are well into the second trimester. That's not pessimism speaking, friends. It's my life and it's how I approach things now, but it doesn't mean that I don't have faith and hope that this baby will survive! I'm counting on that and praying with all my heart that we will keep getting more good news, two weeks at a time.

At my first appointment, I explained to my doctor that my cycles had been a bit long for the past few months. Already he suspected that I ovulated late, so with today's ultrasound and the one from two weeks ago, he adjusted the dates with that in mind and said that everything looked right on schedule. I do have to readjust the dates here, though, and I sure hate to have to back them up a little. Today I'm officially 6w4d, so that will be 7 weeks on Sunday. And my new due date is December 2.

I'll sleep well tonight knowing that this first big step is behind us. We're anticipating the next ultrasound on April 26. I have the consultation with the melanoma surgeon coming up on Tuesday, so I'm eager to get that done and find out when the surgery will take place.

Things are crawling along and I can't help but wish that I could fast forward through the rest of this month (and maybe the next one too?) to arrive at a place that is a little more stable and peaceful. But we're hanging in there... one day and one step at a time.

Today, there is life to celebrate. There is a tiny little heart beating away. And that makes my heart very happy.