Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I Miss Them

I've been very sentimental lately about my sister's boys and how much they've grown. I'll admit that watching them grow sometimes reminds me of the children we lost and how much time has gone by on this long journey to our baby. I always thought that our children would grow up together and be babies together. My first baby should have been born roughly a month after my sister's second son came into the world. Yes, I still mourn the fact that they won't be small together even though I know that they will still have a special bond.

But aside from all that, and despite how much I love who they are now, I miss the precious little boys that they were!

I miss those first cuddles and the wonder of new life.

I miss those big, gummy smiles.

I miss the excitement of becoming a brand new aunt... again.

I miss the baby brother who was almost as big as his big brother. :)

I miss watching my husband learn how to become an incredible uncle (he's an old pro now).

I miss those sweet giggles.

And I miss the time when they could BOTH fit in my lap.

As much as I miss these precious baby boys who stole my heart 9 and 7 years ago, I absolutely love them just as much today. I know that even though it didn't all work out in my timing and my way, we had these little boys when we did because we had a giant hole that needed to be filled. My sister let us "parent" her boys and love them with all we had while we lost and longed and waited. The truth is that we didn't have to wait for children to love. God put these boys into our lives at the right time - His time - to help us heal.

I never could have imagined that they wouldn't meet their baby cousin until they were in 2nd and 4th grade, but I can't wait until that day comes! I have loved every moment of watching my nephews grow, and I think that moment will be all the more precious because of the years we've spent knowing and loving them. I know we have plenty of years of smiles ahead!


Life In Mazes said...

So beautiful! Their smiles, then ad now, are so full of life!!!

Amy said...

They are such handsome boys! How sweet that you have such a great relationship with them. They will love their new niece so much because they love you so much!

Jenn said...

Oh wow, what a heart-tugging post! Beautiful! I'm sure Connie will be crying!

Hope in Virginia said...

Being an aunt is awesome!!! What great pictures. I have 7 nieces and nephews between my 2 brothers and cherish that special relationship. In fact, my oldest niece is 15 and I was in the hospital the day she was born! We have such an amazing relationship and I pray she has a similar relationship with our little one who is also 15 years apart from her!

Connie said...

Can't! Stop! Crying! What a special post to our precious boys! Those boys love you like a mother. Don't think I don't know that they would choose you over me any day of the week (and that's okay with me)! I've know for 33 years how very special you are. It was obvious from the start. They knew your voice as well as they knew mine and immediately felt comfort in your arms. I am so abundantly thankful that they have you and we can't wait for Lily Rae to join in the fun that is our crazy family! XOXOXO

Jenn said...

uh huh, I knew it, Connie! ;)

Andrea said...

Oh how I can relate...we've just returned from spending 4 days with our nephews and I can honestly say that I felt much of what you so beautifuly described.

Such precious boys! And, so happy you are their aunt, as I know they must adore you :)

Sending you love as you await your little ones arrival :)


Andrea said...

PS Your sisters comments brought me to sweet :)

twondra said...

Awww, absolutely love this post! As you know, I'm so close to my nephew and niece so this really hits home. Thanks for sharing!!

Andrea said...

Your little girl is going to be so spoiled! Especially with 2 big boy cousins to watch out for her. :-)

Bethany said...

I loved this!How I can relate Stacey!
My sister's 2 (almost 3) kids to me are so very dear to me as well. They make me laugh so much and they always tell me that I am the "cool aunt" :) They have taught me so much about the little things in life. They are thrilled to death when I take them sliding in the winter and spend hours with them in the pool. My cute niece Liz said that she "did not need to have swimm lessons because my aunt Beth will teach me" ;) God has truley blessed me. I never had a relationship with my sister while we were young but He has paid that back to me and multiplied it! I am so greatful for that gift and I can not wait to spoil my new niece or nephew this winter!
My brother's little daughter is so precious to me as well. Even though I do not see her all the time I absolutley adore her. She has had rough road the past 11 years but she is so strong and 100% Ray! She is so much like me when I was her age! (with the added strong part).
I can not wiat to drive home in 2 weeks and 2 days and see them!